幽默趣味英语笑话精选

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英语笑话,趣味,幽默,精选

幽默趣味英语笑话精选

1:

Tommy hated school and was always looking for excuses not to go.If he sneezed.he asked his mother to write a note saying he had a cold. If he had a headachehe asked his mother to take him to

the doctor during school hours. He spent more time at home than he did at school. On the days that he did go to schoolhe looked for excuses to come home early. One morning he came home when

the lessons were only half finished. His father was surprised.

汤姆讨厌上学,总是找借口不去上学。如果他打喷嚏,他就叫他妈妈写个纸条说他感冒了。如果他头痛,他就叫他妈妈在上课时间带他去看病。他待在家里的时间比在学校的时间多。在他去上学的日子里,他就找借口早点回家。一天早上他上了一半课就从学校回来了。他爸爸很惊讶。

"You’ve come home early.”he said.“Is the school closed today? "NoDad"Tommy said,“It’s open. I camehome early.” “你回来很早,”他爸爸问,“今天学校放学了吗?”

"How did you do that”his father asked him. "What did you say to the teacher”

“没有,爸爸,”汤姆说,“还没放学。我提前回来了。”

"I told her that I had a new baby brother and that I had to come home and help you."

“你怎么会提前回来了?”爸爸问,“你对老师说什么了?”

"But your mother has had twins"his father said"a boy and a girl. You’ve got a baby brother and a baby sister.” “我告诉她我有了一个小弟弟,我得回家帮你。”

"YesI knowDad,”Tommy said.“I’m saving up my baby sister for next week.”

“但是你妈妈生了一对双胞胎,”爸爸说,“一个男孩,一个女孩。你有一个小弟弟和一个小妹妹。”


2:

Mr.Day was a teacher at a school in a big city in the north.of England. He usually went to France or Germany for a few weeks during his summer holidaysand he spoke French and German quite well.

戴先生是英格兰北部一个大城市里的中学教师。在暑假期间他通常到法国或德国去度几周的假,他的法语和德语都讲得相当好。

But one year Mr. Day said to one of his friends,“I’m going to have a holiday in Athens.But I don't speak Greek, so I'll go to evening classes and have Greek lessons for a month before I go.”

然而有一年,戴先生对他的一位朋友说:“我准备上雅典去度假。可是我不会讲希腊语,所以去雅典前刻名先去夜校进修一个月的希腊语课程。”

He studied very hard for a monthand then his holidays began and he went to Greece.

他很用功地学了一个月后,他的假期也接着开始了,于是他就去了希腊。 When he came back a few weeks laterhis friend said to him,“Did you have any trouble with your Greek when you were in AthensDick?"

几周后,他回来了,他的朋友问他说:“迪克,你在雅典时,铡尔的希腊语有没有遇到困难?”

"No,I didn’t have any trouble with it,"answered Mr. Day.“But the Greeks did!”

戴先生回答说:“没有,我的希腊语用来得心应手,倒是那些希腊人遇到了麻烦。” 3:

Creighton was going along a West end square when he saw a little fellow trying to reach the knocker of a large house.

当克莱顿教授沿着伦敦西区的一个广场走着的时候,他看见一个小家伙正试图抓住一所大房子的门环。

"Can’t you reach up so high? "asked the professor kindly. “你是不是够不到这么高的地方呢?”教授好意地问。


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